“Slap in the Face” Award: Rock and Roll Retirement Homes

Steve McDonald
by Steve McDonald, Bond Strategist, The Oxford Club

The cheek smacker this week is for all of us who grew up in the ’60s.

If you clearly remember the summer of ’69, you obviously were not at Woodstock! But a lot of people were and all of them are now retired. And some sadly are gone. That lifestyle might have looked great on film but it cost a lot of lives.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up...

Guess who is on the cover of this month’s AARP magazine? If you aren’t sitting already, please sit down!

Bob Dylan!

Yes, the same Bob Dylan whose album, Blonde on Blonde, my father took off the record player in our home, broke in half and threw in the garbage. That same Bob Dylan who so enraged my parents is the poster child for AARP this month.

Not only is he on the cover, but, when he was told who the readers were, he gave away 50,000 copies of his new album to them. The CDs are in a select few issues of the magazine.

It seems only people our age still have CDs.

Oh, Bob, the times they are a-changin' back!

And if that isn’t hard enough to swallow, there is now a retirement community built entirely for Deadheads. Yes, if you didn’t get enough of “40 years of Truckin’” over the last 40 or 50 years, you can now spend your last few years surrounded by like-minded Deadheads.

Oh, wow man! Will the cops ignore the drug laws there, too?

Now, to each his own. But isn’t this “tune in, turn on, drop out” stuff getting a little old? Let’s take a walk down memory lane, shall we, and revisit the Woodstock generation and see if it really is worth all the nostalgia.

Here’s a photo of a very cute young lady at Woodstock whose family probably spent a fortune on her at Julliard or a similar music school. You don’t study the flute at just any college. How do I know all this? She’s wearing a sun dress right out of Talbot’s catalog. Hippies, real hippies, did not shop at Talbot’s.

Her boyfriend on percussion looks absolutely fried and those listening were seeing and hearing many things, none of which involved her flute.

How about the next Donovan on the back of the Chevy Impala? You and I both know he had no idea what state he was even in.

The next one, peace candles? Really?! They were probably all drafted anyway.

Oh, yes, psychedelic school buses, with people living in them. How absolutely hot and miserable! You had to be stoned to tolerate the heat and... never mind.

And these last two I want you focus on for just a second and imagine that almost every person in both pictures is probably now a Republican with high blood pressure and/or cholesterol, back aches, and is very likely retired.

A Jerry Garcia early bird special, how absolutely depressing!

Feelin’ groovy? Leave a comment for Steve below.

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