“Slap in the Face” Award: Panty Patrol

Steve McDonald
by Steve McDonald, Bond Strategist, The Oxford Club

Hi, everybody - welcome back to the funny side of money.

This week the cheek smacker goes to all those 20- and 30-somethings who think owning a smartphone or a tablet is some kind of intellectual achievement.

You know the ones I’m talking about: the ones who laugh because you don’t have the latest wow now phone and who flaunt these idiot-proof devices as if it takes talent to use them or qualifies them to be considered higher functioning.

But it goes further than that. Not only have the Techno Gens - that’s what I call them; not the Gen X’ers or the Millennials - these Techno Gens have gone too far with their lust for information and control.

Now they have underwear with the same locater device that their phones have. The same ones any law enforcement agency or national security agency can turn on without their owners knowing it and track and record everything they say and do.

YUP! You heard me. The geo-positioning technology that is in smartphones is now in ladies underwear.

And you thought all that information you have been sharing was just for your friends’ use only? No way! Everybody is watching and listening.

Anyway, it seems there is now what is being called a high-tech chastity belt that can track a woman’s location while she is wearing this new underwear.

And, yes only women’s underwear is available with a tracking device in it. I’m sure that will change very quickly.

So, my question for the Techno Gens: Do you really want anyone having this much information about you, never mind where your wife’s or girlfriend’s underwear is?

Oh, and here’s one for the tech addicted who buy these things. How do you know she didn’t give them to one of her girlfriends who didn’t go out that night?

Really, where does this techno stuff stop?

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